Neverness

It’s the neverness that is so painful.
Never again to be here with us…..never
to sit with us at the table, never to
travel with us, never to laugh with us,
never to cry with us, never to embrace us,
as he leaves to school, never to see his
brothers and sisters marry. All the rest of
our lives we must live without him. Only
death can stop the pain of his
death. A month, a year, five years…
with that I could live….but not this
forever.

I step out into the moist, moldy fragrance
of a summer morning and arm in arm with
my enjoyment comes the realization that
never again will he smell this.

One small misstep and now this neverness

Nicholas Wolterstorrf
From Lament for a son