Honey in your name

Your Visit

You knew that your siblings had gone

Wanted me to know, there remained one

You felt the misery I was in,

Tapped my shoulder and raised my chin

Although I’ll try to describe

Your embrace and the associated vibe

I am sure I will definitely fail

And my words will not prevail

To portray the feeling I had

And how I was extremely glad

My blood started rushing through

The moment I dreamt of you

“I came from heaven all the way

To comfort you during this short stay,

Let you know that I care

And of your suffering I am aware

Your separation from us brings you pain

This happens to you time and again

Mother, now, it is time for me to go

But, I am always with you, that you know”

I felt so different when I woke up

It was a trance that shook me up.

Randah R. Hamadeh, 2016, Copyright©

Author of Summer Rays: Solace for Bereaved Parents

February 2016

My Son's Wedding

Since they were born, I always had a very special relationship with my children. They had no doubt that the best thing in my life was having them and that they are my top priority. My children also knew that I am the rock that they can hold on to, the friend they can always turn to, and the only person who has unconditional love for them.

After my daughter, Samar passed, my two surviving children came to understand that a mother’s love to her child continues after his/her death. They witnessed how I have been dealing with my loss all these years.  They came to know that, they and my love for my deceased daughter are the oxygen that I need to start each day and go on.

This year, and as my son’s wedding was approaching, my family, relatives and friends were apprehensive about how I will be on that special day. Since my daughter passed away I had not attended any weddings except my nephew’s and two nieces’ weddings and these weddings were outside the country. In the eight and the half years of her departure, my son’s wedding would be my first public appearance at a wedding in my country.

I was not worried about how I will react on this special day, since I was confident that my love for my children is stronger than any other feeling I have.  It was my son’s special day and one of the happiest occasions in my life. I wanted to give him my love and support, and not allow my sadness over Samar’s absence from the wedding to overshadow this happy event.

As the day was approaching, I assured myself that I should not worry and that all would go well. I knew that I would still miss Samar, I also knew that I am a strong person, and will not allow anything to go wrong on this joyful occasion. On that special day, I woke up for the Morning Prayer even without hearing the call for prayer or setting an alarm. My internal clock woke me up. I prayed and asked God to give me all the strength that I need to portray the love I have for my son. Although I was confident that Samar was going to be with us, I prayed that she would be by my side during the wedding and let her spirit embrace her brother on the happiest day of his life.

The wedding began. Not a single tear dropped, not a sigh! Everyone, including my son and his bride, saw the glow in my eyes and my radiating love and joy spreading all over the hall. I felt Samar’s presence throughout the evening. She was by my side and helping me to offer a spectacular evening full of love to my son.

I was the happiest mother on earth that day.

January 2016

Received by email on New Year's Day from a Friend

2016 Calendar

New Year

Here comes another year

Without you, daughter, dear.

I don’t look forward to a new-year

Though with each one you are here.

I am counting one by one

Since the year you had gone.

Years started to pileup,

And still more lineup.

As I turn the calendar page by page

With beautiful memories, I engage

 In my heart and mind you are alive

Without it, I can’t another year survive.

Randah R. Hamadeh, 2016, Copyright©

Author of Summer Rays: Solace for Bereaved Parents

Happy New Year

Calendars

Liverpool Team

Samar supported Liverpool. This advertisement  has been recently placed next to the cemetery were Samar is buried!

Samar's First Trip, 5 May 1988

When I die by Rumi

When I die,
when my coffin
is being taken out,
you must never think

I am missing this world.

Don't shed any tears,
don't lament or
feel sorry

I'm not falling
into a monster's abyss.

When you see
my corpse is being carried,
don't cry for my leaving

I'm not leaving,

I'm arriving at eternal love.

When you leave me
in the grave,
don't say goodbye.

Remember a grave is
only a curtain
for the paradise behind.

You'll only see me
descending into a grave.

Now watch me rise
how can there be an end
when the sun sets or
the moon goes down.

It looks like the end
it seems like a sunset,
but in reality it is a dawn
when the grave locks you up
that is when your soul is freed.

Have you ever seen
a seed fallen to earth
not rise with a new life?

Why should you doubt the rise
of a seed named human?

Have you ever seen
a bucket lowered into a well
coming back empty?

Why lament for a soul
when it can come back
like Joseph from the well.

When for the last time
you close your mouth,
your words and soul
will belong to the world of
no place no time. 

Note: Sent to me by a dear friend.

December 2015

November 2015

ماذا أفعل؟ اعادة نشر

ماذا أفعل ُ وقد ضاعت مني ابنتي الغالية سمـر ؟

بحثت عنها في غرفتها فما وجدت إلا الصور

ناديتها و كان صوتي عاليا ً حتى سمعه الحَجر

بحثت عنها في أرجاء المنزل وفى كل بقعة من الحُجَر

وناديت ثانية و لم أسمع إلا الصمت و الدمع الذي انهمر

من أنادي ليبحث معي، أحمـد أم عمـر أم قـدر ؟

سألت عن حبيبتي، التي قلبي عليها انفطر

سألت عنها الربيع والصيف والشتاء والمطر

 سألت عنها الصباح والليل والشمس والقمر

سألت عنها الشروق و الغروب و البحر

سألت عنها فقالوا " رحلت وأخذها منك القــدر "

ماذا أفعل وقد رحلت صغيرتي، أخت قدر و عمـر؟

 ماذا أفعل وقد أخذت معها البسمة وحلت مكانها العبر

الصبر تصبرت به، الإيمان تبطنت به، ولكنني اشتقت لسمـر

أريد أن أضمها إلى صدري وأقبلها وأهمس في أذنها 

و أن تلمسها يدي وأراها لترى عيوني البصر

"أود لو أصرخ بأعلى صوتي "عودي ياحبيبتي سمـر

لماذا قسوت علي وأخذتها مني أيها القــدر؟

لماذا أخذت أخت و رفيقة قــدر وعمــر؟

لماذا أخذت مني درة بل أثمن الدرر؟

ولكن أذكر ربي الرحمن الذي يبشر الذي صبـر

فأكبت صيحتي وأدعو لها بالرحمة عند رب البشر

وأحمد الله الذي لا يحمد سواه على مكروه أو ضرر

رنده ربحي حماده

"من ديوان "سمر غروب وشروق

٢٠٠٧ 

October 2015

صلاة العيد -اعادة نشر

كنت بين جموع المصلين

وإلى جانبي يا ابنتي تقفين

ولرب العزة معي تسجدين

تسلمي على سيد المرسلين

.وبقدوم العيد إياي تهنئين

أتيت لأنك تريدي أن تؤكدين

بأنك معي أينما حللت تذهبين

وبما أفعل يا حبيبتي تشاركين

.ووحشة العيد دونك، تخففين

،رأيتك ملابس العيد ترتدين

وبأجمل الحلي يا ابنتي تتزينين

وشممت العطر الذي به تطيبين

فأحسست بك... يا أغلى الغاليين

وشعرت بتميزي عن الآخرين

فحبيبة قلبي ترافقني حتى

.وهي عند رب العالمين

©رنده ربحي حماده

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