Comparative Commentary

Text A, an article from HIGH, Mountain Sports magazine, and the poem “Breathless” by Wilfred Noyce both deal with the same experience, mountain climbing. Their themes, general statements on human nature or experience, are similar with minor differences. They used literary techniques such as imagery (creating an image through words) and diction (word choice) for similar purposes, but in different ways. Also, they used similar techniques but for different purposes.


Both authors address the concept of determination in their themes. Text A says that in order to experience the captivating beauty of nature you must be able to endure the hardships that come along with it; thus you must have qualities that make you enduring such as determination, “Summits such as Cook have irresistible climbing appeal but are unnerving in reality.” Text B, on the other hand, talks about the importance of self motivation and determination when aiming for something. Both themes acknowledge that the goal is only part of the experience. Although the speaker in the first text is very passionate about the beauty of nature and the experience itself, he recognizes that reaching the summit was only part of the experience, “Rather than giving satisfaction, they reinforce the sense of urgency that is essential in mountaineering. There was still much to do. Celebrations would have to wait.” Acknowledging that the goal is only part of the experience is one of the enduring qualities that a mountain climber must have, thus in relation to the theme, if you want to experience the beauty of nature you must acknowledge the fact that reaching the summit is only part of the journey. The speaker in Text B also realizes that the reaching the top is only part of the journey. He is struggling throughout his climb to the top, “One step, one heart-beat, stone no nearer, dragging feet.” His emphasis on the struggle of the climb to the top makes it exceptionally clear to the reader that the experience of mountain climbing is composed of multiple journeys. In spite the struggle of the first journey, the speaker in text B managed to go on through determination and self motivation.



Quite an extensive amount of imagery is used throughout both writings. The use of imagery is used to strengthen the understanding of the theme to the readers. A significant amount of visual imagery is included in Text A. The visual imagery was created through the extensive use of adjectives of positive connotation and figurative language such as metaphors and personification. By creating beautiful images in the reader’s mind, the author strengthens his theme which talks about experiencing the beauty of nature. Text A does not have a focus on the drawbacks of mountain climbing as Text B does, thus the author has a more positive outlook on the subject itself. Words of positive connotation are used to describe the view the speaker sees and thus the reader is not discouraged from mountain climbing, and is able to identify with the theme because he/she can picture the captivating beauty of nature, “The Tasman Sea was hidden by a low blanket of white cloud”. Metaphors are also used to beautify nature and it helps the reader identify objects he is familiar with and nature, “The mountains were black silhouettes against the brightening sky”. Through personification the author makes nature seem larger than life, “Once over the summit rocks, the sun climbed higher and we daubed our faces with sunscreen”. Tactile imagery is used in Text B in order to create an emphasis on the struggle of the climb towards the top. The imagery used is so effective that the reader feels that he is going through what the climber is going through, and thus empathy is created. The repetition of the struggle to breathe makes you feel like you are also struggling to breathe, “Lungs pant, dry air, sorry scant.” The reader comes to a complete understanding of the struggle of the climb, and since words of negative connotation are used, the reader is discouraged into mountain climbing. There is also a degree of visual imagery used, in the sense that you can picture the speaker, an exhausted, lonely person who finds every step forward a struggle. The tactile imagery helps to formulate the visual image of the speaker. Through familiarizing the reader with the feelings the speaker is feeling, the reader was able to picture the speaker.



The purpose of the first text was to convey the theme, while the purpose of the second text was to share a personal experience. Text A was found in a Mountain Sports Magazine, thus it was inferred that the author wanted to directly tell people that mountain climbing is a beautiful experience, but a hard one, and the person has to be up to it. The fact that it was in a mountain sports magazine implies that the reader takes the sport seriously, thus the author wanted to say that it is a serious task that requires determination. The author successfully achieved his purpose through imagery and diction. Text B was written at a height of 6.5 Km, thus the reader infers that it is a personal experience. Although “I” and “me” are not used, it is obvious that it is a personal experience. The author wants to share his struggle and familiarize the readers with it, and did so by the use of tactile imagery.



The atmospheres in the two texts are completely different than one another. In simple terms, Text A could be describes as light, and Text B as dark. The first text seems to have a calm, peaceful atmosphere, while the other text seems to have a unnerving, depressing, and frustrating atmosphere. The visual imagery in the first text greatly helps establish the peaceful atmosphere, “The snow beneath broke and crunched like shards of glass.” Glass breaking is usually not associated with positive atmospheres, but the comparison of the glass breaking to the snow breaking creates a beautiful mental image that calms the reader. Also, the positive diction used greatly contributes to the positive atmosphere. Finally, you do not feel that the speaker himself is nervous or tired, he seems calm and is experiencing the beauty of nature to its fullest. The tactile imagery in Text B adds to the atmosphere. By feeling what the speaker is feeling, you can have a vivid sense of what the atmosphere is like, it is depressing, unnerving, and somewhat frightening, “Grind breath, once more then on.” The reader can imagine himself in the position of the author and thus can familiarize with the atmosphere. The words of negative connotation greatly contribute to the negative atmosphere, “dry air”. The atmospheres of both texts can be linked to the themes, the author of Text A created a positive atmosphere in order to emphasize on the beauty of nature, while the author of Text B created a negative atmosphere in order to emphasize on the struggle of the climb.

Samar Al Ansari
Grade 11.5