Too Many Fours

Gulf Daily News Volume XXXIII NO 167, Sept 3,2010

Four years since you passed away
Samar 404
Four years
since you walked out the door.

Life went on mostly bitter
but at times sweet
Yet without you,
everything is incomplete.

Events do happen,
but I wish time to stand still,
I don’t want to move on.
I don’t have the will.

When I go to new places,
I shed a tear
As I don’t want to see
nor hear
what you can’t
my daughter, dear
hear or see
loud and clear.

You are with me
every minute of my day
Trying to lead me
and show me the way.

I sense your presence
in many different ways,
At times experience a touch,
or see a gaze.

It’s not enough! I want to go back
to when you were here,
When I can feel your touch
and hear your voice very near.

Nothing is the same
since you’ve gone
Everything changed,
even the moon and the sun.

My heart is weary
And it can’t anymore bear
to look at your empty room
and empty chair.

People tell me
“Pain wanes as time goes along”
What a myth!
Nothing can be more wrong.

So here I have
another anniversary to face
Oh, loving Samar,
I wish this day I can erase

It marks the fourth year
since you went away
Too many fours for me to handle,
no matter how much I pray.

May God help me
go through the many fours
And enable me to do
my different chores.

As for you,
my little one
It’s true you’ve left,
but for me never gone.

Randah Ribhi Hamadeh ©2010
Written in loving memory of my daughter
Samar Ahmed Al Ansari (4/4/1988-4/9/2006)