Saturday, January 09, 2016
Since they were born, I always had a very special relationship with my children. They had no doubt that the best thing in my life was having them and that they are my top priority. My children also knew that I am the rock that they can hold on to, the friend they can always turn to, and the only person who has unconditional love for them.
After my daughter, Samar passed, my two surviving children came to understand that a mother’s love to her child continues after his/her death. They witnessed how I have been dealing with my loss all these years. They came to know that, they and my love for my deceased daughter are the oxygen that I need to start each day and go on.
This year, and as my son’s wedding was approaching, my family, relatives and friends were apprehensive about how I will be on that special day. Since my daughter passed away I had not attended any weddings except my nephew’s and two nieces’ weddings and these weddings were outside the country. In the eight and the half years of her departure, my son’s wedding would be my first public appearance at a wedding in my country.
I was not worried about how I will react on this special day, since I was confident that my love for my children is stronger than any other feeling I have. It was my son’s special day and one of the happiest occasions in my life. I wanted to give him my love and support, and not allow my sadness over Samar’s absence from the wedding to overshadow this happy event.
As the day was approaching, I assured myself that I should not worry and that all would go well. I knew that I would still miss Samar, I also knew that I am a strong person, and will not allow anything to go wrong on this joyful occasion. On that special day, I woke up for the Morning Prayer even without hearing the call for prayer or setting an alarm. My internal clock woke me up. I prayed and asked God to give me all the strength that I need to portray the love I have for my son. Although I was confident that Samar was going to be with us, I prayed that she would be by my side during the wedding and let her spirit embrace her brother on the happiest day of his life.
The wedding began. Not a single tear dropped, not a sigh! Everyone, including my son and his bride, saw the glow in my eyes and my radiating love and joy spreading all over the hall. I felt Samar’s presence throughout the evening. She was by my side and helping me to offer a spectacular evening full of love to my son.
I was the happiest mother on earth that day.
Saturday, January 02, 2016
Friday, January 01, 2016
Here comes another year
Without you, daughter, dear.
I don’t look forward to a new-year
Though with each one you are here.
I am counting one by one
Since the year you had gone.
Years started to pileup,
And still more lineup.
As I turn the calendar page by page
With beautiful memories, I engage
In my heart and mind you are alive
Without it, I can’t another year survive.
Randah R. Hamadeh, 2016, Copyright©
Author of Summer Rays: Solace for Bereaved Parents